For many Christian parents, the message was simple: if you follow the biblical formula, your children will grow into faithful, flourishing adults. But what if those promises were never true? In this episode, Tim speaks with Marissa Burt, co-author of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting, about the rise of the evangelical parenting movement, the fears that fuelled it, and the hidden assumptions about authority, obedience and control that shaped generations of families.
Drawing on historical research and the stories of both parents and adult children, Marissa explores how well-intentioned families were often let down by systems that offered certainty where none could be guaranteed. Together, they discuss the relationship between love and control, the impact of shame and spiritual authority, and what healthier, more hopeful approaches to parenting and faith might look like today.
After the interview, Tim is joined by his wife Hannah to reflect on how the conversation resonated with their own experiences of growing up in evangelical families, and how it has shaped the way they’re raising their son, Elliot. Together they explore themes of fear, control, corporal punishment, questioning authority, and what it means to pass on faith without trying to control the outcome.
Interview starts at 16m 19s
WEBSITE
BOOK
The Myth of Good Christian Parenting
SOCIALS
QUOTES
“Parents in some ways were both victims and victimisers to this teaching. Many of them were well-intentioned… but intention doesn’t mitigate impact.”
“You can love your children as your smallest and newest neighbours.”
“Parenting is overwhelming. Parenting is uncertain. But these teachers promised certainty.”